The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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