just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
