He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
