I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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