I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
