i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
