I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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