You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My ass is underappreciated
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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