That's intense
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
