I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
