so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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