She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
