He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
