So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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