So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
