She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i think my cat just said my name.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
