At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
