five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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