is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I enjoy the company of your penis
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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