Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
