i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
