Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
