she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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