I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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