obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
