I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
