Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
