that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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