dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
