That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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