Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He shit in the fireplace
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
