Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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