i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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