she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
