Ambien. No doubt about it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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