you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
