i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
birth control should be required to get into college
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Randomize
