I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
