God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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