I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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