bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
