sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
