she was so not down for the gang bang
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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