Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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