real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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