Tell her she can't have a vagina
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
