That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I cannot find my penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
