I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
