We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
