She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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