I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
