What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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