the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
