Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
