my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
